Advent Reflections & Rainy Day Gray

Advent hasn't been quite like I hoped. I imagined slowing down, snuggling, having more time to pray, time to do advent crafts and fun little activities, and fresh baked goodies and tea.

Well I feel more of a mess then ever... I don't know when I thought I'd have time to prep activities and all the various calendars. My Advent calendar, which has nice little activities for each day has been mostly just for show we have opened maybe 3 of the 7 so far, our Jesse Tree has 4 out of 7 ornaments, and I felt the opposite of slow. I have been dealing with a very difficult family situation which has been all consuming... losing sleep, hours of conversations, and half said rosaries interrupted by my own anxious thoughts. Then to distract myself... planning gifts for family, making all our shutterfly calendars/books before the sales run out, taking care of extra responsibilities while Peter spending hours and hours on his project, not praying, making tea but then forgetting about it while I clean up another mess. 

Even now, I just desperately wanted to take this short time to post, as outlet, to you girls... which is nice (letting the kids get in to whatever momentarily is kind of freeing, haha). 

But this morning I woke up 30 minutes before an of the kids. Peter was leaving to give his final presentation (woohoo... its over)! And I snuggled up with my favorite blanket and had a short prayer time. I thankfully stumbled on a mediation from this past Monday, the title "Love Makes Us Beggars" struck me, so I read it instead of the daily one. 

Here what that struck me:

"Sooner or later everyone confronts the limits of human power. The occasion could be natural disaster, illness or a loved one's decision with predictably tragic consequences. You love, you want to avert suffering, but who can control nature's forces, overcome disaster, or save another from poor judgement? Only God, only Jesus. A beautiful thing about love is its power to make us beggars. As soon as we really love someone and desire that person's fullness or happiness, it becomes clear that out love outpaces our power. At this point we become beggars, intercessors, turning to Jesus, for whom nothing is impossible... Advent is the time to confront the gap between our love and our impotence, and to hope against hope... When there is no human hope for healing our souls, humility prepares us for Jesus' coming."

Even in the midst of dealing with other people "tragic consequences", my own deep failures, brokenness in the world all around me, and never meeting expectations, and believing lie after lie... in that place, that humble place, I can only prepare fully for Christ's coming deeper into my heart. So here I am: come, Lord Jesus, come!

Would love to hear any advent reflections from you girls.

Sweater, Tunic: HMD, boots: thifted, leggings: kohls, necklace: ebay

Momma Donna's Advent Calendar & Leyna and Terese's Jesus gift boxes

My Advent Calender

Advent Wreath

Our Jesse Tree bulletin board

P.S. Col, Peter and I didn't do anything super special for advent our first year of marriage. Other then the advent wreath, which we still use. During our devotions, we read through the mass readings (doing devotions like his parents but after instead of before) and we mainly did just the first reading with all the promises leading up to Jesus, and talked about it. Now we use the kids bible :) And we also went on a 1/2 day advent retreat the first 3 years of marriage, which was really nice. Hope you can find some nice things that will make this time special.